This isn’t a very good blog.
Oh, I know what you’re all thinking. You’re all so horrified I could even suggest such, as you collapse back with wailing tears at the thought I could so demean this wee site of mine, crying out in hurt anguish “but no, it’s perfect, we tell you it’s perfect!”
Yeah, well, thanks and all, but you’re talking basic bollocks. (Yes, even the imaginary people in my head talk bollocks, freaky huh?) See, I do everything wrong on this blog. I write too much, for starters – blog posts should really be between 500-800 words at most, not essays of well over a thousand which meander all over the place, as if getting to the point and sticking on it was some kind of writing cliché those really good writers who really know what they’re doing all try to avoid.
And then I don’t write enough. Blogs are content hungry little buggers and really should be updated ever 2-3 days, not merely once a week. Mind you, it’s hard enough to work, study, build a portfolio of photography, another of professional writing, and occasionally remember to say hi to family and friends, as well as write over-long, meandering, digressive pieces for this blog more than once a week.
(Brings up an interesting mental picture, though – Hungry Hungry Blogs, much like Hungry Hungry Hippos. See a bunch of weirded out, cyber geeks obsessively typing with their backs to each other, each trying to capture illusive, moving, slippery content first, before everybody else gets it. Hmmm…)
Another thing wrong with this blog – it’s physically not the right shape. Sure, that’s true of most of us (hmmm, some of us more than others, of course), but in the big wide world of blogging, it tends to be crucial. For starters, the type font is too small. You’ve practically got to squint to read it, and if you do that too long, you’ll prove your mother right. It does prompt readers to decide it really is best to stop now, before they go blind.
The layout, though admittedly pretty, forces the posts into long, elongated text which readers have to scroll down to read. Hyperlinked words simply won’t show underlines no matter which dark god I sacrifice to, it’s part of the coding of the theme, so I’ve compromised by just sticking them in bold. I don’t use enough images, except when talking about my own photography, which is only occasionally. There’s heaps and heaps of problems here…
Look at it. It’s big long chunks of text on a screen, when it should be openly spaced with lots of reader-breathing room.
And then there’s the content…
Look, you can’t say you weren’t warned. The name of this blog is Let Me Digress – digressing is what I do here. In fact, there’s more digression than there is point to it all, and surely you realise by now that’s deliberate. I crap on here once or twice a week for a thousand words or so about whatever issue has caught my attention in a light, sarcastic and occasionally amusing manner. If I feel it’s something worth looking at in more depth, I’ll provide you links so you can go do that serious business elsewhere.
But it’s not the way I write everywhere. And it’s probably about time I showed a little versatility up here. Or something. I feel I’ve been neglecting one of the three self-proclaimed purposes of this blog, which if you cast your eyes upwards you will remind yourself are: writing (self evident), photography (got it in the galleries) and unsolicited opinion (ain’t no escaping it here, clearly.)
Writing is the biggie. It’s my passion in life. Stringing words together for one purpose or another, it’s what I do. And while in one way this blog is all about writing, in another way it’s totally unrepresentative.
See, I do sometimes actually write, you know, seriously. Trusies. I can put together entire pieces of serious work, with serious intent, and with serious research backing it up. When I feel like it. Or if the fancy takes me, I also write real film and book reviews, with real review content, in which I don’t just crap on about whether I liked something but actually consider it with, well, seriousness.
And not a single flippant comment undermining any of it inserted anywhere in any of the text.
All totally true, I swear it
Anyway, somebody asked the other day and sounded doubtful when I said as much, so I figured I better stick some examples of other stuff I’ve done up on this site, if only just to prove I can. I’ll try to keep the boring corporate stuff to myself, I promise – no sense inflicting that on the rest of the world, I’m not that evil – and only put up that which is vaguely interesting and which I’m free to stick out there. So will just be a handful of bits and pieces as I find them, really, I’m not promising much. But I have added on a page to stick other non-blog writing stuff onto, the one marked, suspiciously, as “Writing.”
Heh, ain’t I just so clever with the word-play?
So go on, look up again, see, up there, near where the other headings are on the navigation menu… see the one which actually says “writing”..? You do? Well, it’s in there. Complicated, I know.
Oookkkaaay. All of that little digression later and I could start to proclaim that I’ve seen the light. This blogging thing is something of a science, I’ll have you know. There are whole blogs just dedicated to, well, blogs. Yes, it’s all very circular and post-postmodern, but hey, that’s what the internet needs more of, after all: self concious writers posting up self referencing material.
Anyway, I could promise I’ll fix it all and do it right and make this the bestest blog ever. I’ll alter the layout, make the font size bigger, use smaller paragraphs. I’ll “put myself out there” into the blogosphere and drum up attention. All the rules you’re told you should be adhering to as a blogger. Hey, if you’re really nice, I’ll even promise to never, ever, write blog posts longer than 800 words ever again…
Only you’d know that I was merely lying through my teeth just to get the naysayers to shut up. Don’t have the time, don’t have the care.
It’s all about the digression, peoples, but I promise you fun if you come play with me, heh…..